When I was 8, I was living alone with my mom in a small house in West Hollywood. Dad had left us when I was a baby; I didn't remember him. Mom worked the evening shift as a checker at the local market, so my aunt, Marie, who lived a half mile away, kept an eye on me after school. She basically made me a snack and then watched TV on the sofa with a bottle of red wine, while I went out exploring on my bike. I loved Aunt Marie very much; we shared little secrets from mom, she'd slip me quarters for sodas, and only asked that I come home by 7 o'clock, for dinner, which I always did, for reasons I'll explain soon.



Aunt Marie was the most interesting person I knew - she had an easy smile, wasn't stingy giving me kisses, hugs, tickles and pinches, liked to whisper secrets in my ear, and wink at me privately from across the room. She had an obvious and comfortable sexuality - a lot like the actress Adrienne Barbeau, who was very popular at the time. I was completely taken by both Aunt Marie and Adrienne Barbeau for the same reasons - was I the only one to notice how big their breasts were, how beautiful their legs, how much more 'female' they were? When Adrienne Barbeau came on TV while I watched sitting next to Aunt Marie, I'd blush and stutter - for reasons I couldn't explain. Aunt Marie, by the way, was just as busty as Adrienne Barbeau, and very open about her sexuality.



I'd come home more than a few times, right at 7 pm, and find her snoozing on the sofa, wine bottle empty, and wearing only her regular outfit; bra and stockings under a San Francisco 49ers XXXL T-shirt. The T-shirt was as big as a dress, but was Her legs were exposed right to the top of the thigh. I would stare for hours at her beautiful legs from the end of the couch, kneeling to try and see a glimpse of pubic hair under her T-shirt from a position between her bare feet, then standing over her to watch her breasts rise and fall with her breaths, my face just inches from her T-shirt. I would always get a very stiff erection (the closer I was, the better), and eventually I began to strip naked in front of her while she slept. Squeezing my penis as hard as I could, I began imagining what she'd look like naked. I wanted her to see me naked, excited for her. That was the one secret that, I sadly knew, we could never, ever share.



I secretly wanted to lift her top while she slept and kiss her between her legs, or rub my erection to her nipples, but I could never get up the nerve. I'd be mortified just if she awoke with me naked and playing with my hard-on looking at her - imagine what would happen if she opened her eyes to find me kissing her nipples or between her thighs! My youthful erections were my big thrill, because I believed I was the only person who enjoyed the feeling of squeezing his penis. The forbidden shame of it, the desire to kiss my aunt's nude body, made it all the more exotic.

Wassermann